Dear Tweens :: Don’t Bring Out the Gangsta Mom


tweens bring out the gangsta momMy friend, Brittany, and I had coffee the other morning and got talking about this Reel I had shared on my personal Instagram the day before about how you can upset tweens and teens by doing something so simple as the act of breathing!! Both our daughters are tweens and freshly hormonal, and their exasperation at everything is exasperating to us!!! I told her how a couple months back, my daughter states, “Mommmm…. Why are you parking like that?!?!?!” when I pulled into a Kroger. I slammed on the brakes and wanted to slap her upside the head. Brittany laughed and said, “I tell my tween all the time – don’t bring out the Gangsta Mom!!!”

“Don’t bring out the Gangsta Mom!”

We may be all peace-loving and God-fearing at this point in our lives, but they don’t know the us from years before! It was so good to laugh about our shared trials and tribulations as moms of tweens. The lattes we drank warmed my body, and my time with Brittany warmed my soul. It’s nice to know someone is going through something similar. 

gangsta momI know we were once all tweens and teens ourselves, and life is always cyclical, but dang it’s something to be in the throes of it as a mother. The past couple years as I watched the shift of my baby girl entering tweenhood has been surreal to say the least. I decided early on to never take anything she says to me personally, because I KNOW it’s not me, and I know a lot of it is hormones that are all brand new and confusing to her. However, there comes a point when I just have to check her. We don’t allow disrespect in our house. That moment in the Kroger parking lot was one of those times. 

She doesn’t remember the me that was ordered into anger management when she was a toddler because of a public outburst I didn’t control. She doesn’t remember the me before she was 2 when I had to get on anti-anxiety meds to keep my from spiraling out as a single mom with no family and no real support around me. She’s blessed and privileged at this point in her life in so many ways she doesn’t even realize. 

Semi-Pro Tween Mom Tip :: Don’t take anything personally, and demand respect.

My husband knows the “old Courtney” aka the “Gangsta Mom” according to my friend, Brittany. I know that old me, and I’d like her to stay hidden as well. I told Ady in that Kroger parking lot that I tolerate a lot from her, and how I had to suppress the urge to literally slap her across the face. She looked shocked that I would even have a thought like that. Well, I do. And, I don’t want her putting me in that frame of mind.

I told her that she had been skating a fine line of disrespect of me for days and that she had crossed it. She doesn’t know how to drive, she doesn’t know what it is to be an adult, and she doesn’t know what it is to be a mother. Until she does, she needs to check herself and be respectful to me. I will not tolerate anything less than basic respect. 

I think it scared and surprised her a bit to see a teensy glimpse into what that old me was like. I really don’t want to go back to that place. I’ve worked too hard and too long to be the woman and mom that I am today. Now, she hasn’t magically transformed into the most respectful and perfect tween since then, but she has been much more careful with the tone of voice she uses around me, and I’m grateful for that. And, sometimes I think she might actually like me… watch this video.

Who knows what the coming years will bring us, but to all the tweens and teens out there, please don’t bring out the “Gangsta Mom” in your mothers! 😉 We love you and ourselves too much for that.

Any tips you can share as the mom of a tween or teen for the rest of us struggling souls?? We’ll take all the help we can get!


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