Now I get it, Mom. Now, I get your excitement for all things involving your kids. Now I’m that parent, too.
Even though my daughter is now 7, I still have those days at work when I miss her terribly and wish I knew what she was up to, how her day is going, what has made her laugh throughout the day, what they’re learning about, the look she gets of satisfaction and pride when she gets called on in class and gets the answer right, getting a round of applause from her class. I wonder if she’s playing on the playground, playing four square or gaga ball. I wonder what she has done in the day that has helped someone else. I want to know all the things!!
Sounds a bit overbearing, I know, but that’s the Mom I am. I have become my Mom.
My Mom was and continues to be that Mom who wants to know all the things her kids are up to. She continues to brag on us for our accomplishments and things she can relate to that we learned from her, and now do for our kids. You know, I bet she’ll share this article!
My Mom was the Mom that after a late night out, my friends and I would try to quietly come home, and she would pop up from the couch, half asleep and ask how our night was and wanted to hear our stories. I remember feeling so irritated and wondering why she would want to know all these things…and now I want to know ALL the things.
My daughter had her first field trip since Covid, recently, and I immediately volunteered to chaperone, but since they weren’t allowed to have any chaperones due to protocol, I didn’t get to join. I realize these are HER experiences and I was so happy to hear her say that she hoped I could come, but it didn’t work out that way. I even wore the same green school shirt as her when I dropped her off at school, just in case I got a last-minute call to chaperone; I did not get that last minute call. I told her to ask her teacher to take a picture of her while on her field trip and send it to me and she immediately rejected my request with that same annoyed tone I used to get.
It was actually quite funny once I got past the rejection, that I knew exactly what was going through her mind and how annoying I was being. It was the longest day and I couldn’t wait to pick her up from school and hear every detail about her field trip. I mean, of course she wants to tell me everything because we had been so giddy about the upcoming experience together. Her response when I picked her up was, “It was fun!” I tried to pull out more details and got out some, but I finally backed off because I knew that I was likely being a lot.
I want my daughter to always be happy, have all the amazing experiences and to be there along the way. Her joy is far greater than my own joy, and brings me the most joy. Watching her grow and take the lessons and values I’ve taught her and apply them to various aspects of her life accordingly is so rewarding.
I wish I could bottle that feeling she gets, and in turn, I get; in a way I do when these memories pop up in my mind. Call it living vicariously through your child, but I am so thankful to experience this part and most parts of Mommyhood.
I am hopeful that she’ll want to share her experiences with me and that I get to see, hear and feel them through her eyes and words, and maybe get to tag along sometimes…ok, most of the time! Because I’m feeling this and wanting to know everything, I don’t see it as being nosey, rather wanting to help her continue the excitement of experiences and make sure she doesn’t feel alone if there is a not so happy experience; I’ll always want to guide her and never want her to feel alone. Similar to how I try to capture moments through pictures and videos, I am trying to just be in the moment and remember the laughs, the cries, the little big moments that are life changing and bottle them up in my memory. Keeping the notes, pictures, classwork, art and attaching a little blurb about what happened when she brought them home and what happened in that moment in her words are so fun to look back on. Reliving the joys and creating new ones and talking about them with each other; that is everything. Experiencing these feelings about wanting to know everything and hear all of her stories has given me more of an appreciation for my Mom.
So, now I get it, Mom. And maybe I’ll indulge your questions a little more. Meanwhile, I hope my daughter indulges me, too!