Don’t Miss How Far He’s Come

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how far he's comeParenting is hard. (I feel this hard, but I keep trying to remind myself, “Don’t miss how far he’s come.”) Each stage is hard and about the time you breathe a short sigh of relief after conquering one stage, the next one is well on its way.

My sweet Max is unlike any of my other boys, and I have a whole gaggle of them. His little spunk is so cute and endearing, unless he uses those powers for evil and not for good. His ADHD is one of his superpowers, too, and one that we have to constantly keep in check. He is so very smart and inquisitive; he never stops talking and never stops asking questions, and occasionally he listens to the answer.

We have just hit a rough patch at school with his behavior.

The key to having our son in public school is communication with the teachers. We hit the jackpot this year with his teachers. Both were new to 3rd grade, and I wasn’t honestly sure what to expect, but they are the bee’s knees. It began at the open house when I told them that we were going to be partners, and I depended on them. They continue to impress me with each communication they initiate or answer for me about my son.

This new rough patch shook me. After a medication change at the beginning of the year, I thought we were on the right track, took that deep breath, and now it’s rough again. We are dealing with some physical growth, some changes in eating, and the sudden death of our special Papa whom Max was very close to. I began reading and researching again.

I stay up late and get up early researching what we can do to help him succeed in school as teachers and parents, and I pour over articles and materials just to find the right answers for him. Frustrated, I was going over the things we have done since his diagnosis and our journey through public school, trying to see what we could try during this rough patch.

I reflected on the medications we tried and how awful it was until we found the right one. I remembered the sensory toys he needed in the palm of his hands in kindergarten so he wouldn’t fidget or touch things he shouldn’t. I giggled as I remembered the 1st grade necklaces he used to have to suck on to help him with his oral fixation… and how gross they were at the end of the day.  I remembered the list of rules we recited daily in 2nd grade, even saying that Billy was his Kryptonite and he needed to stay away from him.

I was so focused (ironic, huh) on what I needed to figure out for him now that I was missing something amazing.

Look how far Max has come.

We still have a long way to go, and this will not be the last rough patch – far from it, but I never want to miss just how far he has come and how much he has grown and learned.

Those sensory toys are a thing of the past and those necklaces were just all thrown away, because they are no longer needed. The list of rules in 2nd grade no longer need to be recited anymore, because we have mastered them. We still avoid Billy, because 2 ADHD boys together will always be a toxic combination at recess.

I never want to miss this again.

He’s come so far. Don’t miss how far he’s come.

Now I inhale a deep breath and focus on the new list of rules to recite daily until we master them. The amazing communication with the teachers continues as they welcome this partnership. New tools, new strategies, and we will keep trying, because he’s got even more mountains to climb. I plan on enjoying every step of the way and looking back at the view from seeing where he has been.

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Cheryl Brackemyre
I am a Buckeye by birth, but LOVE Louisville. We have cheered for those Louisville Cardinals for a few years when my stepdaughter played basketball in Louisville and fell in love with the city! I live in Ohio with my husband Tony. Together we have 6 kids, Joe, and his wife Allison, Austin, and his wife Hannah, Sydney and her husband Hayden, Andrew and his wife Lauren and our littles, Max and Eli. Did I mention we are a little nuts starting over with this parenting thing when we are 45+? We are officially a Tiki and Jeep (our version of Grandma and Grandpa) since May of 2022 and have 2 grandsons with a 3rd on the. My husband and I are both ministers, and we get to work together in a local church. We were both married before and brought our families together in 2010. After a few years of marriage, we felt God's leading for us to adopt. We added Max to our family in 2014 and Eli joined us in 2017, our quiver is officially full! Blending our family has been an adventure! Add some ex-spouses and two birth mommas and we have ourselves a crazy crew! Coffee is my love language. The beach is my happy place and I long to have my toes in the sand.

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