Growing Up with Two Moms

A few weeks ago, a friend reached out and asked if I would be interested in writing a piece about being a mom. More specifically, being a lesbian mom. I considered what I would say about being a parent; about what it has been like for my wife and me to raise our son during a social justice revolution baked inside a pandemic with a side of political unrest and a sprinkle of global warming looming on the side. 

But we have all been around for that. The impact of all of that will take time to process and I, for one, am going to throw that in the slow cooker for later contemplation. Instead, I decided to interview our son. Here is what he had to say about growing up with two moms:

How old are you? Six and three-quarters.

Who lives with you? My mommy, momma, Peanut (our dog) and Fishy (our fish).

What’s your family like? My family is precious. (awwwwww)

What do you want people to know about your family and you? I have a hoverboard and 11 people who love me. Does Peanut count? If she does,12, I think. 

Only 12? Yeah, there are others, but those are the big ones. (I will not tell you who made the list, please don’t ask).

What does Pride mean to you? When you party for being gay? It means whatever. People can love who they want. 

What is it like having two moms? I think it feels the same as having a mom and a dad. They are just parents. It’s normal.

He then ran away stating he wouldn’t answer any other questions. I had more questions about what he says to kids who ask him about his family. If he has ever been made fun of for having two moms. Questions I’ve always been afraid to ask, honestly. Will we be the cause of our kid’s ridicule? 

But him saying that “it’s normal” negates so much of that fear because he is right. Things are changing. A recent Gallup poll found that 70% of American adults now support same-sex marriage. That percentage jumps up to 84% when Gallup looked just at 18–34-year-olds. And I believe if you asked my kid’s age group (6-10-year-olds) about same-sex marriage they would tell you get out of the way because they are on the last lap of the Mario Kart course and that they don’t care who you marry, anecdotally speaking.

The point is, those 18–34-year-olds are the folks who will be in leadership when my child is older. I believe that they will see tolerance as a minimum requirement, acceptance as the goal, and LGBTQ+ individuals as equals. This group will also challenge us to address equality, equity, inclusion, diversity and intersectionality. Afterall, progress is never done. I can’t wait to see where we are going.

If you want to talk more to your young child about Pride but just don’t have the words, TODAY put together a great list of resources to help with that process. https://www.today.com/parents/15-kids-picture-books-about-lgbtq-tolerance-celebrate-pride-t129950. And if you have an older child who is questioning where they belong, Louisville Youth Group is an excellent resource https://louisvilleyouthgroup.org.

Katie Kelty works in Higher Education. She has been lucky enough to call Louisville home, since graduating from Bellarmine in 2007. She and her wife are raising their son in the East End. They love being outside, especially now that the cicadas are gone!